We had the honour of being invited to a wedding this afternoon. While there are things that will be similar in any Western, Christian wedding, there were a few things that were distinctly Mexican and distinctly this couple!
Roberto and Anna are both in their mid-twenties and attend our church, Iglesia Biblia de la Gracia. They have been formally engaged for a few months, set a date about a month ago and handed out invitations at church last week!
It had the feel of a First Nations event right from the beginning. My job was to take pictures because there was no official photographer. We arrived at the nicely decorated church at 1:05pm, five minutes late, in a wee bit of a tizzy because of our tardiness. When we drove up the hill to the church we noticed that there were only 2 other cars in the parking lot and both of them left after we got there. (nothing personal I hope!). We got into the church and were only joined by 1 other family. And we thought we were late...
There are no ushers and no "Brides side-grooms side" thing. People came in and filled whatever seats they wanted. Only the first rows were reserved for family. And as is usual in Mexico, there were kids everywhere. Maybe not quite 50% of the group, but pretty close!
The ceremony officially got under way around 2:15pm when the bride came out of her green and white 15 passenger taxi (that brought the majority of her family) that was either family owned or rented for the day- not sure.
The service lasted for about 45 minutes with about 25 minutes of Pastor Martin preaching. After that they exchanged vows and rings (which the grooms mom has- there is no best man or maid of honour). Then the brides family gives them a handful of coins that they pass from the grooms right hand to the brides right hand then from her left to his. This represents the sharing of all that they will have. they no longer have their own possessions, it all belongs to both of them. Then a friend come sup and lights two candles representing the bride and groom and they then procede to light the middle candle- a familiar Canadian tradition. Then they bend down on two small pillows while the brides parents put a woven "yolk" over the two of their necks to symbolize working together and walking together in life.
After that a friend of the couple gives them a family Bible and they promise to make the Scriptures an integral part to their home. The Congregation promises to uphold their Christian values as well.
After this the groom kisses the bride and they walk to the back of the church to a throng of people milling about. There is no formal reception line. Some folks go outside, some stay inside and some try to open the "locked with the keys in" door of the car that is triple parked behind the matrimonial taxi! after 30 minutes of fooling around, they got the door open and off we all went to the reception...
About 3/4 of the people were waiting at the reception hall...outside. The person with the keys and most of the food had left the church early, but still hadn't shown up at the hall! So the groom walked around casually explaining to the folks calmly waiting in their cars that it may be a while until we can get in. Then the van with the food and keys came!
It was an economical wedding as neither family had a lot of money to spend on the wedding. So people from our church and family members made 5 (or more) huge pots of
Pozole Pozole is a hearty stew with chile peppers, garlic, pigs feet / hocks or oxtail, hominy (puffed corn...) and spices. You garnish it with lettuce, lime, onions and sometimes radishes. It is very good (once you get used to it...) and very economical. At our table we had a family from our church and two of the kids from the grace children's home, Elisa and Alan. We had a good time together visiting.
They do the "bride throw the flowers thing" but a little differently. The bride stands on a chair and the groom stands on a chair behind her, holding the Wedding dress "Train". The bride-wannabees then all clap (with the rest of the crowd) and walk under the train in a circle and then at the count of 3 the bride throws the flowers.
For the guys (many fewer guys actually came up front to participate!) the groom stands on a chair. His bride stands opposite him and they touch hands forming an arch. The guys go around the chair and under the arch and on the count of 3 he throws the tie into the crowd...
Then it's the toast- at which both extended families surround the couple as the pastor gives the toast. after that we cut the cake and then the bride and the groom and every one else that's left over start packing up the chairs and cleaning off the tables.
Roberto, the groom and Anna, the bride spent a good deal of their time at the reception walking around making sure that all of their guests were doing ok. They visited, they got drinks and food if needed for folks and only after everyone had finished their firsts did they sit down to eat. I asked Roberto about this and he said that Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and they wanted to do the same.
It was a really good night. The kids ran and played with the other kids (the kids had an open area in the middle of the room and after eating and in between little events they ran and played tag!) and we visited with folks and helped clean up.
It was a simple, relaxed, laid back wedding. The bride was the picture of calmness the entire time, regardless of how things were going (the groom however was more nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs). It was refreshing to see that the couple were focussed on the people and not the minute details (actually, I'm not sure there were many minute details!). It was a very good day! If you ever get invited to a wedding in Mexico, make sure you go- and enjoy yourself- and don't be too worried about showing up right at the starting time!
Until Next time,
Mike for the family
